Do You have Healthy Boundaries?

Lorem iDo you have Boundaries that support you?

 

 

5 minute read

Do you have Healthy Boundaries?

In our fast-pasted, technological world, Boundaries are essential in more environments than ever.   For example, today we can open up our Facebook page and have your personal Boundaries intruded upon.  Additionally, there are billboards, symbols and signs everywhere giving us information.  

When you were young, what did you learn about healthy Boundaries?  Specifically, who taught you? 

Without a doubt, it is essential to honor our own:

ü thoughts,

ü feelings,

ü physical space,

ü relationships, and

ü Spiritual beliefs. 

For example, my Mom was such a kind person which I totally respected about her.   Finally, I realized that kindness meant kindness to me

too!    

Essentially, my Mom taught me about kindness.  Consequently, for me to have kindness for myself, I discovered I needed boundaries. 

Are you clear on your past experiences of setting boundaries with your family? 

Clark University’s website discusses setting simple but firm boundaries with a “graceful or neutral tone.” 

Following are some of their suggestions from Clark University.  

1.      First, have support after conversations.

2.     Second, venting  emotions matters.  

3.     Third, using Direct, simple language helps.    

4.     Fourth, do not defend or debate your feelings. 

5.    Fifth, back up your boundaries with action.

That’s a lot of information. 

Consequently, it’s essential to be grounded in your own Beliefs to hold your boundaries. 

Awareness of my boundaries when I’m participating in activities is essential.  Particularly, past experiences have not always been pleasant.  Purposefully, I wrote a “Once Upon a Time Story” of past experiences.  For further understanding, my Once Upon a Time Story started like this.      

Once Upon a time, long, long ago, there was a little girl who learned to be kind.  She was kind to her family, kind to friends, kind to her partners, kind at work…  And one day, she realized that she had challenges and needed to take care of herself.   With certainty, today, I know that kindness to myself and my soul come first for my well-being.  Absolutely, put that oxygen mask for yourself, before give to others.  

According to author, speaker, Brené Brown:

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.

I invite you to take a look at your Boundaries through the 5 R’s (Reflection, Research, Recycle, Rewrite and Rehearsal).  The specific Practice is outlined for you below with some examples.      

 1.      Reflection—Is their one place you have a reflection about your Boundaries?  First, I noticed the need to look at my boundaries with family.  Next, I saw I need to work on my boundaries with service providers.    

2.      Research-—Do you understand your history of holding Boundaries?  Especially, what was your Boundary Training Program?  Furthermore, are you familiar with the perspective of your parents or caregivers?  Precisely, are there patterns you notice?  Mine was trying to please others.  As discussed earlier, we get many messages early on from our family.      

3.      Recycle—Is there some part of your experience with your Boundaries that you would like to recycle?  When I implement a Boundary now, I am proud of that.  Clearly, when it is good for me and my soul, I know it is ok to say no.   Absolutely, this is new for me.  Another way to say this would be, we turn our past to wisdom.  

4.      Rewrite—What is your definition of Boundaries?  Clearly, I have included respect and kindness for myself as I set boundaries.  

5.      Rehearse—There are so many opportunities to practice Boundaries!   

 Please share your Comments:

ü in the space below;

ü in messenger; or

ü to 1joyfulbeing@gmail.com 

You will join the community of those with clear healthy boundaries.  This is not always popular for those you did not have healthy ones with.   The 5 R’s Practice is outlined for you.  

 Thank you so much for sharing.  Your Perspective Matters.  BAM—Beliefs are Magical

 

5 minute read

Do you have Healthy Boundaries?

In our fast-pasted, technological world, Boundaries are essential in more environments than ever.   For example, today we can open up our Facebook page and have your personal Boundaries intruded upon.  Additionally, there are billboards, symbols and signs everywhere giving us information.  

When you were young, what did you learn about healthy Boundaries?  Specifically, who taught you? 

Without a doubt, it is essential to honor our own:

ü thoughts,

ü feelings,

ü physical space,

ü relationships, and

ü Spiritual beliefs. 

My Mom was such a kind person which I totally respected about her.  With clarity,  I now realize my kindness needs to include myself.  

Essentially, my Mom taught me about kindness.  Consequently, for me to have kindness for myself, I discovered I needed boundaries.  Are you clear on your past experiences of setting boundaries with your family? 

Clark University’s website discusses setting simple but firm boundaries with a “graceful or neutral tone.” 

Following are some of their suggestions. 

First, have support after conversations.

Second, venting  emotions matters.  

Third, using Direct, simple language helps.    

Fourth, do not defend or debate your feelings. 

Fifth, back up your boundaries with action.

That’s a lot of information.  Consequently, it’s essential to be grounded in your own Beliefs to hold your boundaries. 

Awareness of my boundaries when I’m participating in activities is essential.  Particularly, past experiences have not always been pleasant.  Purposefully, I wrote a “Once Upon a Time Story” of past experiences.  For further understanding, my Once Upon a Time Story went like this.    

Once Upon a time, long, long ago, there was a little girl who learned to be kind.  She was kind to her family, kind to friends, kind to her partners, kind at work…  And one day, she realized that she had challenges and needed to take care of herself.  It’s like putting that oxygen mask on for myself, before I give to others.  Without a doubt, today, I know that kindness to myself and my soul come first for my well-being.  

According to author, speaker, Brené Brown:

Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.

I invite you to take a look at your Boundaries through the 5 R’s (Reflection, Research, Recycle, Rewrite and Rehearsal) Practice outlined below.  

 1.      Reflection—Is their one place you have a reflection about your Boundaries?  First, I noticed the need to look at my boundaries with family.  Next, I saw I need to work on my boundaries with service providers.    

2.      Research-—Do you understand your history of holding Boundaries?  Especially, what was your Boundary Training Program?  Furthermore, are you familiar with the perspective of your parents or caregivers?  Precisely, is there a theme you notice?  Mine was trying to please others.  As discussed earlier, we get many messages early on from our family.      

3.      Recycle—Is there some part of your experience with your Boundaries that you would like to recycle?  When I implement a Boundary now, I am proud of that.  I know what is good for me and my soul; it is ok to say no.  Absolutely, this is new for me. 

4.      Rewrite—What is your definition of Boundaries?  Clearly, I have included respect and kindness for myself as I set boundaries.  

5.      Rehearse—There are so many opportunities to practice Boundaries!   

 Please share your Comments:

ü in the space below;

ü in messenger; or

ü to 1joyfulbeing@gmail.com 

You will join the community of those with clear healthy boundaries.  This is not always popular for those you did not have healthy ones with.   The 5 R’s Practice is outlined for you.  

 What is your:

1.      Reflection;

2.     Research;

3.     Recycle;

4.     Rewrite;

5.     And where do you Rehearse? 

 Thank you so much for sharing.  Your Perspective Matters.  BAM—Beliefs are Magical

About Marion Elaine 12 Articles
I love hearing the stories and experience of others. I worked in human services for 25 years with youth and families that were experiencing challenges. The, when challenges came into my life, I learned more about myself and would love to share and listen to your story. Additionally, I love my family.

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