Do You Need Approval?

Do You Need Approval?  

Our accomplishments are different, but we all have many!  With regard to my accomplishments, I thought they would inspire more clarity regarding  my discernment of my needs.  In contrast, I found myself acting as if  I needed approval from my husband and other people in certain situations?   Unquestionably, I have a lot to learn from others which does not equal needing their approval.  In conclusion, I began to observe my patterns of needing approval and uncovered old beliefs and habits. 

Do you find yourself Needing Approval in certain circumstances where you actually would not?  To further define Needing Approval, it could hold back choices that you make.  Decisively, this blog is about making choices for yourself from your true Beliefs.  

I love the line about choosing in the 2003 Matrix Revolutions Movie when Neo is asked by Smith why he persists?  He persists because he chooses to.

I researched and found a connection to “co-dependence” which I was already familiar with, and thought I had moved past.  Research included that of Jonathan Becker, DO assistant professor of clinical psychiatry at Vanderbilt University, who defines co-dependency as much broader than the typical context of one person abusing substances, and he or she depending on the other person to supply money, food or shelter. 

Dr. Becker goes on to define co-dependency in relationships where two people become so invested in each other they have challenges functioning independently anymore.  The mood and happiness are defined by the other person.

Conclusions from a 2014 Thesis for College of Health and Life Sciences Brunel University, Ingrid G.F.I.Bacon describe four themes that emerged from the analysis of data through interviews and visual methods regarding co-dependency.  The themes are as follows. 

1.      First, the shared experience of co-dependency was perceived by the participants as a real and tangible psychological problem in their lives which appeared to follow a pattern.

2.      Second, a profound lack of clear sense of self.

3.      Third, emotional relational and occupational imbalances, feeling like a seesaw.

4.      Fourth, was attributing current problems to their childhood. 

Research is great; next comes what does it mean to you?  I grew up in very old-fashioned times where it was common for women to be very reliant on men.  I understand that some of the ways that I learned from my tribe were also practices of their ancestors before them. 

Did you develop a clear sense of your identity when you were young?  


In Jack Canfield’s best-selling book, The Success Principles, his first principle is. 

If you want to be successful, you have to take 100% responsibility for everything

that you experience in your life.


And now, the 5 R’s Practice is outlined for you to gain a deeper understanding of what you need Approval for. 

1.      Reflection—Do you have a Reflection on an experience where you do, or do not take charge of your needs with clarity?  This does not mean that you don’t ask for help when you need that.     

2.      Research—What has your past experience been with your own needs for yourself and with others.  Did you “own” your needs and take responsibility 

3.      Recycle—Is there any part of your past experience with regard to yourself taking responsibility for your own life that you would like to recycle or let go of?  My conclusion was that I was expecting other people to know what I needed. I learned differently through my Research.  Therefore, I let go of my projection onto others that they knew what I needed.          

4.      Rewrite—Do you want to Rewrite your awareness and understanding of doing what you need to do for yourself and whether or not you need to ask for Permission or get approval?        

5.      Rehearse—We all have many needs and desires which can give us the opportunity to practice.   


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You will join the community of who are aware of their needs and take responsibility for their well-being.  The 5 R’s Practice is outlined for you.  


What is your:

1.      Reflection;

2.     Research;

3.     Recycle;

4.     Rewrite;

5.     And where do you Rehearse. 


Thank you so much for your Comments, short or long.  Your Perspective Matters.  BAM—Beliefs are Magical! 

About Marion Elaine 12 Articles
I love hearing the stories and experience of others. I worked in human services for 25 years with youth and families that were experiencing challenges. The, when challenges came into my life, I learned more about myself and would love to share and listen to your story. Additionally, I love my family.


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